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Gender Bender
By Billy | April 8, 2009
If you’re reading this, you’re a human. Cuttlefish are really smart, but their eyes don’t see like ours. Computers see the words and it means something to them, but they don’t really understand it the same way humans do. Computers suck. See that? They don’t care what we say to them.
As humans, we love putting things into compartments. We’re really good at it. I am a human, I am of European descent, my sex is male, my eyes are green (usually), my age is such and such, my education level is this or that…
This post is a brief rant, and a huge leap. We as humans are usually happy in our areas — we are comfortable with things the way they are, even if that means that we’re buying things at Walmart and Victoria’s Secret, or purchasing food from appalling farming situations, using dirty energy that destroys cultures, habitats, and planets, or oppressing people in the structural and personal level.
The first step that I can think of to end oppression is to spread knowledge. From there comes understanding, and finally acceptance.
This post is supposed to spread the knowledge of gender — whatever the hell that is. What makes you a male or a female? What makes something girly or boyish? The world is becoming more and more accepting of this point of view, so it would be for you to catch on sooner rather than later: The word sex in this context refers to a physical aspect of a human being. Sex is usually binary and assigned at birth; males have a penis, females have a vagina. There are instnaces where sex is not easy to determine, or aspects of both sexes are apparent in the being — this is called intersexed.
Gender on the other hand is much different. Gender is a personal, emotional, and variable thing. Gender is relative. Something is girly because it is not boyish. There are various theories and graphics out there to explain gender in an easy manner, but I encourage you to transcend most things that anyone who claims to have “authority” on the subject has to say. No psychologist has the authority over me or you to define how you feel inside. If you feel girly one day, you’re feminine that day. Period. In my experience, gender lives on a sliding scale, the opposite ends of the spectrum hold FEMALE and MALE — the middle is the androgynous. Any person’s gender can slide from place to place on this scale in an instance, for however long as it will remain there. The important thing to focus on this is that the entire concept is socially constructed — especially the implications of gender and gender roles.
I spent a year and a half of my life identifying myself as experiencing a “gender identity crisis.” I one day tried to explain the way I felt about sexuality, relationships, affection, and what “boys” “should” be doing with their time. I typed in exactly how I felt into google and ended up on a forum with someone who had typed almost exactly the same words to the forum. Many of the replies mentioned the word “transgender,” and included links and resources. After reading about the concept for a long, long time, I felt like my life made a lot more sense (it didn’t, it was just more comfortable). It made sense why I always thought my parents had a sex change operation on me when I was too young to remember. I found it easier to embrace the days when I would play with Barbies with my friend Nicole, and the way I loved My Little Pony. I felt rage at my brother for making fun of me that Christmas morning when I got that Kitten Surprise and loved it. I remembered crying and petting that pet kitten on the couch that morning, feeling ashamed for loving kitties (which were girly) and loving the idea of being a mommy.
A transgendered individual is one who identifies their gender as one different from their physical sex. If you meet someone who identifies themself as transgender. Hmmm. I don’t know what to say there. They’re a person. The end. Approach the “situation” as you would any other. If you want to learn more, be open minded and respectful; exactly the same way you should approach someone to understand their religion, diet, sexuality (which is independent of gender — and is MUCH more expansive than gay, bisexual, and straight), or any other personal quality.
Lately, I’ve really stopped caring. I have moved past the problems I’ve experienced in my life as a result of my unusual gender situation. I actually identify myself as someone without a set gender. Nongendered, androgynous, and transgendered: these “categories” are fitting of me. The label I prefer most is Human Being. Perhaps I would prefer Being is a little better than that. I have noticed that my gender seems to accomodate the situation — as does my energy level, volume, and attitude, each to some degree.
As categorizing humans, we should learn to be open to the fact that these categories we place things in probably don’t like where we’ve put them. I don’t like to be assumed to be manly all the time, nor should I assume that I’m going to be anything in particular. If you approach me with an open, optimistic mind, you will not offend me. I was recently walking across James Madison University’s campus in a dress. Why? Why not? I bought the dress because I wanted to feel “pretty” from time to time — now I just like to feel the freedom sometimes. It’s just a piece of cloth. Who cares how it’s sewn together and draped over the skin?
I came across a fellow this past weekend. We made eye contact, and exchanged words. “Good evening!” I said enthusiastically. “Hey man. How’s it going?” He replied. Then he noticed…
“What the hell?” He says, stopped dead in his tracks. “Are you a girl or something?” He continued, “you must be. You are a damn ugly girl. But I like the way you’re walkin’” A hung my head low — and I will not do so in the future — and continued walking. “Strut that shit, girl,” he yelled. I walked faster and tried to ignore the attack. I was afraid that he’d be following me at this point, but his voice began to change as voices do when further away. He continued calling out to me for as long as his voice could carry and he could still see me.
I don’t know if this is sexual harrassment or what, but it’s entirely messed up. I find humor in it, because I was on his cool-list until he saw what I was wearing.
I think I just needed to get that off my chest, since I can’t recall how I thought I’d fit it into the post, but there it is.
Seeking knowledge about something is not a one-instance-event. It is a lifetime commitment to open the eyes. I am going to intentionally leave this post with little information about gender, the sexuality-implications behind gender, gender terms, physical causes of gender, social constructs, which cultures (like some Indonesian cultures) have always acknowledged three, four, or even five genders, etc. We as humans also love to have a one-hit solution for so many things. I encourage you to search through books, internet sources (books are on the internet now), blogs, or speak to people who might have some knowledge about things! Once you feel like you understand something, you KNOW you’re dead wrong. I am an open book, so I’m a pretty good place to go if you have questions about touchy subjects. Now I come to a close, encouraging you to dump out all the bins you’ve created to classify “this” and “that” and realize the interconnectedness of all things. Realize that all things are unique and special, while at the same time connected to you and necessary to you.
Thanks for getting this far.
Namaste!
Topics: This is my life, Utterly Random |
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