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This is my life

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my mind needs more bananas

Sunday, November 29th, 2009

give these eyes their life back
their torches dim and tire
tie me up and light me
martyr me with fire

House (we’re in this together.)

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

we’re in this together. belly. ache. goodness sake. easy, steady, wasn’t ready. bitter. sweet. remember what’s beneath your feet. earth. rocks. listen to him when he talks. breathe. look. open up. read the book. tremble. shiver. just accept. he will deliver. relax. slide. shrug off all that heavy pride. be. wherever. we’re in this together.

We Have Time. (We have time. We have time!)

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

We wrote these words when we were afraid of what it meant to be loved unconditionally.

A Dream

Friday, October 30th, 2009

My mother and I were sitting in a parking lot discussing my future. I was feeling pretty hopeless facing graduation soon with a BA in Philosophy and Religion and no idea what to do next. I was getting sarcastic and bitter towards myself, kinda frustrated that my dreams and desires seem to be so worthless […]

I Like Mantras: Think. Everything is Beautiful

Friday, October 16th, 2009

A dear friend of mine one day suggested I find a mantra. I had been trying to think of one for a while. Some ideas popped in my head but sounded forced, cold, not-accurate. “There’s not a spot that God is not.” “Let it be.” Things like these blew around the caverns in my mind […]

I want to create

Sunday, September 20th, 2009

I want to make, to have, to hold, to shape, to love, to mold. I want to give and reach and find. I want to bend and stand and bind. I want to be and wait and try. I want to hope and think and die. If we think we’ll ever grab it, our delusions […]

The Nonplanner

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

I am conducting an experiment. It shall last exactly as long as it does. I have been trying half-assedly to be a non-planner for a while, but now I feel like really not planning. I also feel like putting down a few thoughts that I suppose have become mantras for me. They mean volumes to […]

I know you’re out there

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

I used to wake up an hour earlier than usual before elementary school and high school — perhaps once a month, sometimes every day for a week or two. I’d go running. I remember beginning the conversation, “OK. Hi, God. Let’s talk.” These were fairly simple conversations, I thought. Conversations that were very one sided. […]

On being sick

Monday, August 31st, 2009

Sometimes we face tests in the form of gross sickness but to smile and to bless takes a weight off of your chest. At first I felt defeated; the answer was not greeted with the joy that it so needed, for I was too conceited and my soul call wasn’t heeded. This feeling is a […]

The dragon, the griffin, and the Phoenix

Monday, August 24th, 2009

The road was treacherous. Broken. Thin… The straight parts crooked, The wide parts thin. The dragon of pride and the griffin of weakness clashed an epic tempest. I did not give in. Neither one could win. The dark and dreary, often weary, sometimes cheery — but always the parts that fear me — those chambers […]

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