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Wake Up and Graduate

By Billy | April 21, 2010

We were in a van, crowded, comfortable.  On the way to a stadium, at which the Redskins play football, and it happened to be Georgetown University.

The stars were beautiful.  I thought they might have been just moonlight hitting countless clouds in the sky.  Perfection.  One of the most beautiful things I’ve ever experienced.  I was so enamored with the sky, that I encouraged everyone to look up.  I had to remind the driver to focus on the road, “don’t hit those pedestrians in the cross walk!”

When we got out of the car, I realized I was in a suit jacket, dress shirt, tie…  But no pants.  I had my shoes on and my socks on, but no pants.  They were in my hands, ready to be put on.

“Huh,”  I thought, “I have to take off my shoes to put these pants on.  And I have to take the coat off to get the suspenders up.  I mostly disrobed, at which point I realized I had no idea why I was so dressed up.  Graduation was in the back of my mind.

“What are we doing here?”  I asked.  Everyone around me was from my elementary school.

“We’re graduating!”  Someone said.

“No way,” I thought.  I figured it was just practice.  If we were graduating, I would have known it.  I would have finished all my work.  I would have said goodbye to my teachers.  I pulled out my phone to check, I couldn’t make out what the screen said.

It began to snow.  I stopped with one foot in my pants to catch a snowflake on my tongue.  Got it on the first try.  Then I resumed my pants dawning.

I realized while putting my pants on that I really didn’t care to wear those shoes while I graduated.  Thankfully, the suspenders pulled the pants up just high enough that I didn’t scuff the cuff when I walked.  About the time I got my shirt tucked in and put the coat on, I was getting in line, ready to graduate.

When I woke up, I thought for a while.  Dreams like this make me giggle.

1) I had been so enamored with the moment that I didn’t even notice where my life was heading.  Graduation (and all that that word actually implicates) is happening already.  If I don’t prepare for it, it will happen to me super suddenly.  Even if I don’t prepare, I will be in the moment when it happens, so I shan’t miss it.

2)When I woke, I realized that the driver of the van wasn’t as distracted by the stars as I was.  In fact, I was probably the least focused on where we were going.  I was sitting on the floor of the momvan.  I am getting to graduation unconventionally, but I’m getting there.  Transfer student, summer school after graduation ceremony.  No, it’s not what we dream of when we’re kids, but it’s the way it happens and it’s perfect.

3) The order of things for me in this instance is ridiculous.  I’ve taken classes at 3 schools, I’ve declared 3 majors, my last classes will be two introductory classes.  I put my shoes on before my pants!

4) It doesn’t really matter, because that whole debacle has helped remind me how to be comfortable in my skin.  The backwards ways I’ve gone about getting to “Graduation” has created the conditions to facilitate me being comfortable as I do it.  If I did it pants then shoes, I might have forgotten that I want to be myself while I do this.  If I had been conventional in my last 8 years, I would have never learned or mastered the art of listening to the subtle voice.

5) No matter how important things seem, the really important thing is catching a snowflake on your tongue.

I am graduating from college.

Topics: This is my life | Comments Off on Wake Up and Graduate

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