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Waiting at an Airport

By Billy | November 11, 2011

Waiting is a hilarious thing. I’m sitting in the airport right now, waiting. Waiting for a gal I haven’t seen for more than 8 months. Eight months. The first month of that wait lasted for the last 8 months of my life. The last two hours have lasted the remaining 7 months. I wrote in my journal this morning, “I’m so excited right now. I’m totally living in the future. Huh. That’s not very Buddhist of me; if being Buddhist means I’m not allowed to get excited like this than I don’t want to be Buddhist.” I have the expectation that my partner will arrive safely in my arms today; I have the expectation that she will be exactly as fulfilling, mentally and spiritually stimulating, and as lovely as I have always known her to be.
Sometimes not having expectations because they perpetuate Samsara is like not getting a dog because the death of your last dog was so difficult. It’s like never letting yourself fall in love again just because that love you lost destroyed your sense of self and meaning. You’ll be glad you got a new dog. You’ll be glad you let yourself love again. Sometimes excitement and anticipation are part of the overall experience, donchathink? A full portion of the beauty in the change of seasons comes from the promise. When that first tree blooms, it’s hardly as exciting as we are excited; that tree is a promise — a stage to set up our expectations. Buddhism is not about not having desires and not having expectations. Buddhism is about seeing things as they really are. Sometimes things are exciting, sometimes they are enticing.
So now I have 9 minutes until Miranda’s scheduled arrival time. She was running late (grumble) but now she seems to have sped up. I must put forth effort with every cell not to explode. That means I’m going to go pay for my tea, I’m going to collect my things, then I’m going to go hand a rose and a kiss over to one of the most important people in my life.
Also, this is somewhat relevant:

Topics: Philosophy, This is my life | Comments Off on Waiting at an Airport

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