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an meinem Geburtstag

By Billy | June 9, 2008

Dear Fantastic Rumbelow Readers,

While I maybe have been far too busy doing amazing and awesome stuff yesterday, so I couldn’t make a post on my REAL birthday, just for you I took some time out today (the day after) to write and entertain you. Since late birthday presents are just as horrible as no presents at all, the following list is what I want, nay, what I need by or for my next birthday. I will accept no substitutes or I.O.U.’s.

For starters: a puppy. More than one would be acceptable.

Secondly: A Bugatti Veyron. Filled with puppies is preferred.

Thirdly: A Tesla Roadster for my brother. He won’t stop talking about these things! (A post will be made about these guys in his honor soon).

Fourth on my list: The Original Gutenberg Bible. If you could teach me some more German or spark my interest in Christianity, that’d be acceptable, but I just think this would be sweet to have in my library.

Now.. I don’t want people to think that I’m selfish, so I’d like to take a minute out to inform you that I would, of course, want to treat my friends as well. That’s why my party will take place on a super yacht, off the coast of Dubai; all expenses paid.

I will, of course, be having a performance at my party. I will be dissatisfied unless no other than 21 dolphins perform an elaborate and beautiful dance-like aerobatic performance for me. There will be hoops of fire, fights to the death, a love story, and a hidden political statement (like in the Wizard of Oz).

There are just a few more orders of business I must address. The state of the world is bothersome to me, and I expect everyone to wise up come my 21st birthday. What I mean to say is that by the time the dolphin performance has ended, I expect to hear that someone has resolved that darn hole-in-the-ozone problem that I keep hearing about. Additionally, someone sure as heck had better truly get rid of the caste system (as well as any other discriminative class systems in the world), put an end to slavery in Indonesia (and everywhere else, too), resolve the world hunger issue, end the oil crisis, and have all the world leaders come to a peaceful agreement.

I realize that these last few demands are a bit more complicated than the first ones. I understand if you have to go through hell to get there, whether it’s sacrificing your delicious and environmentally inefficient meals, choosing the silly-rather-than-manly car, or starting the peace building process in your very own heart. I would be willing to give up my party, my cars, and EVEN my puppies, if we could start making some progress towards the latter set of gifts.

You have my orders, now go!

You only have 364 days left….

(p.s. [since I couldn’t find a better place to include this…] The title of today’s post translates from German to say, “on my birthday.”)

Topics: Utterly Random | 4 Comments »

4 Responses to “an meinem Geburtstag”

  1. xclite Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 9:33 am

    Just checking for a vulnerability…

  2. xclite Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 9:33 am



  3. xclite Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 9:33 am

    Ah so scripts are disabled. Good for you!

  4. Billy Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 10:06 am

    hahaha. Thanks for looking out for me. We’ll chalk this good idea up to my father, since I surely didn’t do anything like that..